Story: Role with It (Part 4 of 4)

Role with It (Part 4 of 4)
By Varian Milagro

Copyright © 2015 by Varian Milagro
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

After lunch we loaded the food and equipment into the car. Andrew showed up before we’d gotten too far along. He helped us finish loading. I was very thankful. I’d stored some of the equipment on the top shelves and I would have needed a ladder to get them. When I’d stored them it had been an easy reach, but now that I’d lost half a foot in height they were infuriatingly out of reach. He also carried both standing rib roasts for us, a task I’d done easily last month, but would’ve been nearly impossible today.

I kissed and hugged Lily goodbye. Both Evan and Tyler were catching the bus with Peter. Holly was headed home to watch all five kids.

I climbed into my Durango. As I waited for Abbey to start her car I looked in the rear-view mirror. I looked like a mess, my hair was sticking out all over the place and I looked tired. I shouldn’t have skipped putting on my makeup in the morning. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why I’d done that. I hated leaving the house without my face on. I fingered my gold wedding band hanging around my neck. Tomorrow after I returned the rental equipment I’d have to get it re-sized.

A Party Central panel van was parked next to Willow Grove lodge’s loading door when we arrived. A couple guys in their twenties were pulling milk crates filled with plates out of the van. A tall man in a suit walked over to us as we exited my SUV and introduced himself.

“Hello, I’m Barry. I’m the manager of Party Central. We’ll be doing the serving tonight.”

“I’m Steve,” I said as I shook his hand. “This is my sister Abbey. Are the Huberts here?”

A look of confusion crossed Barry’s face. He looked at Abbey and then a dawn of realization hit his face. “Oh yes, the Huberts. No, they are not here yet. I don’t expect them for a few hours.”

“How is the kitchen here?”

“Excellent. We’ve catered here a number of times and all of their facilities are top of the line. We’re getting all of the tables and décor setup now. I’ll be back later tonight with my wait staff to serve your food. In the mean time can we help you ladies unload?”

“We would love some help, Barry,” I said with a big smile.
Barry introduced us to his employees, Gary and Toby, and then all five of us started carrying food into the lodge. I fell in love with the kitchen at first sight. It was a wonderland in shining, stainless steel. There were four double convection ovens, a long bank of gas grills, two heavy duty four compartment sinks and miles of work space. I thanked the men profusely once all the food was unloaded. They’d turned a hard job into a simple one and even loaded the prime ribs into the oven for me.

The next couple of hours flew by as I worked on the appetizers, sides and the rest of the desserts. Abbey helped where she could, tossing the salads, prepping the appetizers. With an hour to go I threw the chicken and lamb into one of the ovens and checked the temperature on the prime ribs. They were coming along nicely.

With thirty minutes to go, Abbey disappeared. She said that she needed to call Charlie. Impeccably dressed wait staff started carrying food out to the banquet table. I wanted to help, but every time I made a move toward the door Barry or one of his assistants would intercept me and ask an inane question.

When Abbey returned she was wearing a black dress and carrying a garment bag. She’d put up her hair and redone her makeup.

“Happy birthday, Cindy!” Abbey said as she handed the garment bag to me.

I opened the garment bag and let out a gasp. Inside was a vibrant blue dress with delicate rhinestones accents along its scooped neck and cinched waist.

“Oh my god, it’s the dress we saw at Nordstrom,” I said as I removed the sleeveless, cocktail dress from the bag. It had an A line skirt that fell to the knees, a built-in bra and a delicate mesh covering the skirt.

“There’s a matching pair of pumps and clutch in the bottom of the bag.” Abbey pulled out the clutch. It was outlined in the same delicate rhinestones as the dress.

“It’s so beautiful. Thank You. I can’t wait to get to your house so I can try it on. I just hope it fits. Nothing’s been fitting right all week.”

“It will fit and you can put it on here.”

“I thought we were going to change at your place.”

“Change of plans. Charlie is going to pick up the kids at Holly’s and bring them with him. John’s been told and we’ll meet them at the restaurant.”

“John? Who’s John?” I asked. I pulled out my phone and texted Wendy.

“Very funny, now let’s get you changed.”

I followed Abbey into one of the back rooms. My phone chirped with a text from Wendy. She said that she was aware of the change in plans. I changed into my dress and then Abbey had me sit while she worked on my hair. When she pulled out an eyeliner pencil out of her purse I reminded her that I was capable of doing my own makeup.

“I want to do my little sister’s makeup on her birthday. Is that okay with you, missy?”

“Well, when you put it that way.”

“Do you remember the first time I put eyeliner on you?” she asked as she lined the bottom of my lids in black.

“Yes. It was at your slumber party. You didn’t want me to include me. You told Mom that since you and your friends were in middle school you shouldn’t have to endure a fourth grader.”

“Sorry about that.”

“I was supposed to stay upstairs and leave the big girls alone, but I kept sneaking downstairs to spy on you. I wanted to join in so badly. You were my hero back then. You wore makeup and a bra and even had a boyfriend. I wanted to be you in the worst way.”

“You’re going to make me cry.”

“And then Paula caught me spying and called me a stupid brat and then you let me stay. It was one of the happiest nights of my life. I felt so grown up hanging with you while you put makeup on me and braided my hair.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t about to let that bitch call my little sister a stupid brat and get away with it. Only I could call you a stupid brat. I let you stay mostly as a way to punish Paula, but I’m glad I did. It’s one of my favorite memories of our childhood together.”

Once she finished my makeup I stood and we hugged. She took my hand and led me back into the kitchen. Barry and several of the wait staff were there. Barry motioned to one of the waitresses and she bolted through the doors that led to the banquet room.

“Great job on the food, Cindy” Barry said and then he and the remaining wait staff started applauding. “You look beautiful, too. You both do.”

“You’re very sweet,” I said.

Abbey led me through the banquet room doors. The lights were out. I could see shapes of people, illuminated by the Sterno cups blazing beneath the chafing dishes. Suddenly the lights came on.

“Surprise!” a large crowd of people shouted.

My hands went to my mouth. I looked around the room. The place was filled with people I knew. My mom and dad were there. So were Charlie, Janie and Evan, along with Roger, Holly, Peter and sweet little Katie. Andrew was present along with other former employees of my failed restaurant. Friends from high school, here with their husbands or boyfriends. Wendy held Lily in his arms as she struggled to get down. Wendy’s face looked weird. It was the face of a man, a man I didn’t know, but I knew that he was my wife. Tyler stood next to Wendy dressed in his Sunday suit and stared at the ground, looking like he’d accidently killed a puppy.

“Were you surprised?” Abbey asked as she hugged me.

“Yes, you stinker. I should have known something was up. Huberts is Holly’s maiden name.”

“I thought it might be a bit of a giveaway if I used ours. I hope you’ll forgive me for making you cater your own birthday party, Cindy,”

“Are you kidding? Creating the food for tonight was a birthday present by itself.”

“I hoped you’d feel that way.”

“Ma ma,” Lily said as she reached out for me.

As Wendy handed Lily to me he whispered into my ear. “What’s up with the makeup and why is everyone calling you Cindy? Your name is Steve.”

It all came back to me again. I looked at Wendy and I knew that his name was now John. He thought that I was still Steve. In the morning he’d remember me as Cindy, his loving wife. I’d remember myself as Cindy and Steve would be no more. At the moment I remembered growing up male as Abbey’s brother, standing at the altar with my best friend as Wendy walked up the aisle with her father. I still remembered being in the delivery room as Wendy gave birth to our beautiful children. In the morning it would all be gone. Steve would be dead, only Cindy would remain.

I knelt down next to Tyler. He looked like he was about to cry. “It’s okay, Tyler,” I said as I hugged him. “Your Mommy and Daddy are happy. It’s okay.” Tears filled my eyes as he clutched me desperately.

Everyone started singing “Happy Birthday”. I looked up to see my mom and dad walking toward us carrying a large cake with thirty candles burning brightly. I let go of Tyler and put a smile on my face as I stood.

“Make a wish, Cindy,” my mom said once the singing stopped.

I took in a deep breath, wanting to blow out all of the candles in one shot. I knew my wish and I desperately wanted it to come true. As I blew I said to myself, “I wish that my spouse and I always remember who we used to be, but I wish Tyler would forget”. With my last bit of breath I blew out the final candle and everyone cheered.

I looked at my husband, John, a look of realization appearing on his face. I looked at Tyler and he had a smile on his face. John pulled me into a hug and kissed me.

“I love you, Cindy nee Steve,” he whispered in my ear.

“I love you too, John nee Wendy.” I lifted the necklace holding John’s wedding band from my neck and handed it to him as he handed me the necklace with my beautiful, diamond solitaire, wedding ring. As I slipped it over my head I broke away from John and looked at Tyler who was tugging at my dress. He looked excited.

“Can I go play with Evan and Peter?”

“We have to eat first,” I said as his smile faded. “You can sit with them while we eat if you promise to eat your vegetables.”

“I promise, Mom!” His smile returned and then he ran off to find his cousin.

My head was a jumble as I ate dinner with John, Abbey, Charlie and my parents. Memories of two lives swirled through my mind. Memories of my dad coaching my little league baseball team when I was a nine year old boy. Memories of my mom sitting with me outside of the grocery store as I tried to sell Girl Scout cookies. Memories of pinning a corsage on the dress of my prom date jumbled with picking out my prom dress with my sister. From the look on John’s face I guessed that he too was trying to reconcile two different lives as we ate.

Lily got passed around during dinner. My mom, dad and Abbey all wanted to hold her. She’d let them for a couple minutes and then she’d reach for me. I was happy to hold her. I think I could spend an entire day doing nothing else except hold her in my arms.

After dinner I opened presents from new friends and old. All of my childhood friends in attendance were friends of Cindy’s. I’d known a couple of them as Steve, but they hadn’t been friends. They were girls I’d met as Cindy in Girl Scouts, high school, or neighborhood friends. Steve’s childhood friends weren’t here. I assumed that when Abbey had first setup the party Steve’s friends had been on the guest list. I wondered when it had changed to Cindy’s friends. Was it when Abbey had started calling me her sister or when she’d started calling me Cindy?

After opening presents a band took the stage and people started dancing. Janie watched Lily while Tyler, Evan and Peter played together and John and I danced. Dancing in heels was easier than I’d have thought it would be. When I was a man I used to marvel at how women could navigate on a thin, high heel. In this reality I’d worn heels often enough that it was nearly second nature. I thought back to my first dance in middle school, wearing a pair of sandals with a kitten heel, nearly tripping on every step, feeling like I was wearing stilts. John and I held each other close as we danced and talked about how we’d first met in this reality.

We’d still met at a party while John was attending Berkeley and I was at the Culinary Institute of America. Only this time I got pregnant while I was working as a line cook at C’est la Vie, a French restaurant in Sacramento. John graduated before Tyler was born and we moved back to Salem. He started working with his dad while I stayed home and raised our son. When Tyler turned two I opened my own restaurant. It was chic little bistro that served dinners Friday and Saturday night and brunch on Saturday and Sunday. The limited hours allowed me to focus on raising Tyler and live my dream at the same time. Cindy’s restaurant didn’t have nearly as many employees as Steve’s, but they both had been lucky enough to have Andrew Collins as an employee. When I became pregnant with Lily we closed the restaurant. It had done well and I loved creating food there, but it took a backseat to raising my daughter.

Tyler was back to his usual self. John and I talked to him a little later in the evening as things started to slow down. He knew that my name was Cindy and his Dad’s was John and that his last name was now Turner. He didn’t seem to remember the names Steve, Wendy or White.

When it came time for the party to end and it was time to clean up, I found out that Party Central had cleaned up all of the equipment, bagged all of the leftovers and packed everything into my Dodge Durango. I found Barry before he departed and thanked him for all of his help.

“It was a pleasure working with you, Cindy and I’d love to do so again. We could use a chef of your caliber at Party Central.”

“I would love to, but I have a fulltime job at home with my kids.”

“I understand,” Barry said. “Look, if you ever find yourself with a little free time and are looking for something to do, let me know. We always seem to be short handed and would love your help, if even for a week or a weekend.”

I hugged everyone goodbye and then Lily and I rode home in my car while Tyler rode home with his dad. Abbey had offered to babysit Lily and Tyler for the night, but I wanted my first morning as a mother to be with my children.

That night, after the kids were both in bed, I cuddled next to John on the couch. The television was off and light jazz played on the stereo. Several candles lit the room and filled the air with the scent of wild flowers. John held me while I lay against him and ran my hand over his firm chest. I had my wedding ring on my finger. It was too tight and hurt a little, but I liked looking at it as it sparkled in the candle light. It was so beautiful, a perfect symbol of our love.

“I’m going to need to get this re-sized,” I said as I slipped the ring off and slid it back on the chain.

“Mine’s too tight as well. I’ll get it fixed over the weekend.”

I pulled the necklace over my head. “Do you think I made the right wish? Should I have used my wish to change us back?”

“I’m happy as a man,” John said. “I don’t think it is just the magic making me feel this way. I was happy being a woman, being your wife, being Tyler and Lily’s mother, but I was always envious of men. I was jealous of your strength. I worked hard every day, lifting heavy wood, pounding nails, climbing buildings, and yet I was weaker than you and you never even worked out. I think I’m going to love being a man. How about you?”

‘I was always jealous of your bond with the kids. I care for Lily and Tyler all day, tending to all of their needs, but who do they want when they’re sad or hurt? They want their Mommy.”

We didn’t talk for several minutes. I watched the candle light flicker on the walls and basked in the love I felt for John.

“What do you think about having more children?” I asked.

“I’m all for it.”

I turned and looked John in the face “Really?”

“Absolutely. I gave birth to two children. It’s only seems fair for you to have two as well.”

“I’ll settle for one for now, honey bear.” I ran my hand down John’s chest and over his crotch.

“Well, there’s no time like the present.” John lifted my chin and kissed me passionately.

John stood, took my hands and helped me stand. He lifted me in his arms, carried me over to the candles. I blew them out and then he carried me to the bedroom. He set me on my feet and unzipped my dress while I unbuckled his belt.

I pulled my dress over my head, tossed my bra and panties on the floor and crawled into bed, naked except for my stockings. John crawled on top of me. He’d lost his clothes, but kept his towering erection. I spread my legs and he slid up along my body, his chest hair tickling my hard nipples. I trembled as I took his erection in my hand and guided him toward the entrance of my pussy. I wanted him so much.

I had memories of making love as a woman, but I knew that I’d never actually done it, not yet. I yearned for the experience. When the tip of John’s cock touched my outer lips, my pussy clenched and I let out a moan. A warm wetness flooded my pussy as he pushed and the head of his cock slipped past my outer lips. I felt myself stretch to accommodate his girth. He paused.

“Don’t play around,” I said in a husky whisper. “I love it when you tease me, normally. Tonight I just want you inside me.”

John pushed again this time without pausing. His erection slid along the walls of my pussy, filling me. His pelvis bumped my clit and an electric thrill shot my body. I let out a gasp. I threw my legs around his buttocks and held him against me, his balls resting on my ass.

“Don’t move, I want to relish this for a little while.”

John leaned forward and kissed me. We were joined. My husband was fully within me and we were one. I felt our love radiate throughout my body. I clenched his cock as if hoping that we could meld somehow and the moment would never end. I finally released my legs and he pulled back slowly, purposefully. He pushed back in until he once again bumped up against my clit and then he pulled back again, each stroke filling me with wondrous pleasure. He fell into a steady rhythm.

“I’m glad I’m a woman, John. I’m glad I’m your wife.”

He ran a hand over my breasts. “I’m glad you’re a woman, too.” He smiled and then kissed me.

I orgasmed within five minutes and he joined me a couple minutes later. He lay on top of me as his erection faded within me. After a couple minutes he rolled off. I got out of bed a put on one of my birthday presents from John, a new nightgown. I crawled back into bed and cuddled up to my husband. He held me with a protective arm and we fell asleep.

***
I awoke to John’s alarm in the morning. My first stop was the toilet where I sat down and peed. After wiping I pulled on my bathrobe and slippers, flipped my hair out and went into Tyler’s room to wake him. My next stop was to Lily’s room.

She was awake and using the crib rail to stand. She reached out to me and fell onto her bottom. I lifted her into a hug and kissed her cheek. After changing her diaper I sat with her in the rocker. I slid my robe off one shoulder and unhooked a flap on my maternity bra. I lifted her to my breast and she latched immediately, like an old pro. I hummed softly as tears fell down my cheeks. While getting emotional while breastfeeding wasn’t uncommon, today felt special. Lily gazed up at me as she suckled milk from my breast. I stared into her beautiful eyes, feeling like we were one. A warmth radiated from belly, a beautiful mixture of joy, love and pride. I didn’t want it to end. When Lily finished nursing I carried her to the kitchen and set her in her high chair and got to work on breakfast.

“What are your plans today?” John asked as we ate our pancakes.

“I need to return the rental equipment and then I was thinking of enrolling Lily in one of those gym classes for babies. After school Janie is going to babysit while Abbey and I get our nails done and then we’re going spend some of my catering money at the mall. I need to buy some clothes that fit. I also want to get my ring resized.” I turned to Tyler. “Remember to take the bus with Evan today. Oh, and I put some leftover birthday cake in your lunch. There’s extra for Evan and Peter.”

“What do you say, sport?” John said.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Should I grab some takeout on my way home from work?” John asked.

“Yes. That would be perfect.” I gazed at my husband. He hadn’t shaved and he looked unbearably handsome with his stubble. I loved him so much.

A nagging thought hit me. I pulled my billfold from my purse and checked my ID and credit cards. They all read, “Cindy Turner”

“Everything all right?” John asked with a look of concern.

“Yeah, I was just checking.”

John prepared to leave and I set Lily in her playpen and sent Tyler to his room to get changed. I looked at my diamond ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. I felt my neck. Hadn’t my ring been on a necklace around my neck? I ran to the bedroom and checked my clothes. My bras were a 36C, my dresses a size 6, just my size. Hadn’t they been too small yesterday? It suddenly hit me. I used to be a man. I was Steve White. I was Cindy Turner.

I heard the front door close. I ran outside in my bathrobe and slippers with my hair a mess and wearing no makeup. John was climbing into his truck. A decal on the side of the door read “Turner and Sons Construction”.

“Was it a dream?” I asked. “Did I really use to be your husband? Were you really my wife?”

“If it was a dream, we dreamed it together.” He kissed me.

I looked down at my body. “I think I’m pregnant.” I placed my hand on my flat abdomen. “I think you got me pregnant last night.”

“It’s probably a bit too soon to tell, Cindy.”

“I know, but I have a feeling.”

John placed a hand over mine. “Can we keep on trying until we know for sure?”

I reached up and kissed him. “We can keep trying even after we know.”

I stood by the garage door, waving goodbye to John as he backed out of the driveway. I stayed there and watched him drive away until he reached the end of the street and I lost sight of his truck. While I no longer needed to replace my wardrobe I still planned on doing some shopping with my sister after we got our nails done. I looked at my short, chipped nails with their ugly cuticles; they needed a lot of work. They were going to look great with long, French tips.

I made a mental note to pack my expressed breast milk. While I planned on breastfeeding Lily just before Abbey and I left to go shopping, and Lily could make due on solid food, it would be good for Janie to have some on hand, just in case. I looked down at my breasts, swollen with milk and smiled. I loved my new life.

I turned and walked back to the house to get dressed for my first full day as a woman, wife, mother, and hopefully mother-to-be.


The End