Role with It (part 1 of 4)
by Varian Milagro
Copyright © 2015 by Varian Milagro
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
The cloying smell of cigar smoke assaulted me as I approached the door to the garage. I was going to kick my brother-in-law’s ass. He knew that Wendy didn’t allow smoking in the house, not even the garage. I opened the door. Wendy was showing off one of her power tools to Charlie and Roger. Sure enough, Charlie had a lit cigar. Then I noticed that Roger had one as well. So did Wendy.
I stared at her for nearly a minute. I watched as she lifted the half foot cigar to her mouth and wrapped her ruby lips around it. What an incongruous sight. My petite wife, dressed in a skirt and heels, her heart shaped face framed by her long blonde hair, her diamond wedding ring sparkling on her finger, her short nails painted the same shade of red as her lips, and a big fat cigar in her mouth. It looked so weird.
“What are you doing?” I asked Wendy.
“Sorry, I’ll turn on the fan,” Wendy said, smoke spurting from her mouth.
“Why are you smoking a cigar and in the house, for god’s sake?”
“We’ll smoke outside, okay?” Wendy put the cigar in her mouth, took her belt sander from Roger and set it on her work bench. “You could join us, you know. Charlie has another cigar.”
“I sure hope you’re kidding,” I said.
Wendy flashed me a slight frown as Roger and Charlie burst out laughing. I hit the button on the garage door opener and the door rumbled open.
Wendy stared at me for another moment and then said, “Come on you two. We can finish these on the back deck. I’ll show you the bench I made last week.”
I watched the three of them walk outside and then hit the garage door button again.
“He’s got you on a pretty short leash,” Charlie said as the door descended.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Wendy said. The rest was cut off when the door finished closing.
I walked back into the house, not understanding what I’d just witnessed. Wendy was an ardent non-smoker as was I. Why she’d suddenly take up smoking—cigars of all things—was beyond me. And on top of that she’d offered one to me. Why would she do that?